March 7th, 2011

Religion has always been a thorny issue, with serious believers willing to lay down their own lives, but more often the lives of others to protect the ‘image’ of their chosen ‘Almighty One’.


When I was young and deeply unhappy in boarding school, I picked up on Christianity as a crutch to help me through my depression. In retrospect I’m not entirely sure that it did any real good, other than to make me feel guilty about masturbating, but not enough to stop, obviously. Later in life I decided that the whole ‘worship thing’ didn’t really make any sense at all and as the so much of the Old Testament is clearly bonkers, I decided that I would carry on my belief in God, but drop the ‘pre-packed’ religion bit and just do my own thing.


Now just for one moment let’s assume that God does exist and is the creator of all the known and unknown universes, humans, animals, plants, alien life forms, Gordon Brown,  Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter, snakes, mountains, oceans etc. Each one of us is pretty insignificant in our own county let alone the largeness of multiple universes and whatever is beyond that. Most people who create something enjoy recognition and compliments from members of their peer group. If I design a website that to me looks pretty dandy and someone in the same profession tells me that it’s good, my simple human emotions will make my chest swell with pride. If however an ant that has found its way to a computer, takes a look and tells it’s mates back at the anthill about this wonderful website and they are all overcome with emotion and feel the need to build an inch high edifice in honour of it, from the best bits of crap they can find, am I likely to be impressed? I think not, and I am considerably nearer in size to the ants than God. Although I have an ego that does enjoy a bit of massage from time to time, I think that it’s fair to assume, that egotism is not a trait that the almighty would have in spades, so what exactly is the point of dedicating a not inconsiderable percentage of our very short stay on earth wearing the knees out of our trousers in a draughty old building, when one could be doing something useful or relaxing, telling our creator how insignificant we are and how great he/she/it is?


Another word used with great enthusiasm by the devotees of most, if not all religions is ‘belief’. In years gone by, those who did not ‘believe’ in whatever imaginary being was being supported, were seen as being ‘evil’ and did not deserve to live and very often were put to death for such a heinous crime. Since the dawn of time, we have invented imaginary friends and enemies and then become more protective of them than our real living, breathing friends. It’s not all been negative; some fantastic buildings have been created, jaw droppingly beautiful music composed. Sadly though huge numbers of people have been tormented, and killed in the name of various Gods over the years. No religion can claim not to have blood spilt in its name at some point. The Christians for a start have a very tarnished record. Here’s one of a great number of blood thirsty quotes from the Old Testement –   “Suppose you hear in one of the towns the LORD your God is giving you that some worthless rabble among you have led their fellow citizens astray by encouraging them to worship foreign gods.  In such cases, you must examine the facts carefully.  If you find it is true and can prove that such a detestable act has occurred among you, you must attack that town and completely destroy all its inhabitants, as well as all the livestock.  Then you must pile all the plunder in the middle of the street and burn it. Put the entire town to the torch as a burnt offering to the LORD your God.  That town must remain a ruin forever; it may never be rebuilt.  Keep none of the plunder that has been set apart for destruction.  Then the LORD will turn from his fierce anger and be merciful to you.  He will have compassion on you and make you a great nation, just as he solemnly promised your ancestors.  “The LORD your God will be merciful only if you obey him and keep all the commands I am giving you today, doing what is pleasing to him.” (Deuteronomy 13:13-19 NLT)

The Qur’an isn’t much better “Slay them wherever you find them…Idolatry is worse than carnage…Fight against them until idolatry is no more and God’s religion reigns supreme.” (Surah 2:190-)

These days they like to purport to be above such behaviour, but there is still hatred in Northern Ireland and blood is still occasionally spilt from two factions of the same religion who share the same book, songs and God. Clearly Islam is currently getting a bad press for the extra keen supporters murdering folk for having the audacity to be rude about one of their prophets. To the best of my knowledge, in none of their holy books does it recommend that one should kill oneself as a vehicle to killing other folk who worship an alternative imaginary friend or worse still follow the scientific view that there is no evidence whatsoever of any form of ultimate being, much less that one will be rewarded with the opportunity to take the virginity of huge numbers of young girls. These people are very hung up on virginity; what I want to know is what happens to these virgins after they have been deflowered by the suicide bomber. If they are up in this heaven place, then presumably they died on earth without having a bite of the carnal apple and then are taken roughly by a Muslim man as a reward for killing lots of people, who may also have been Allah fearing Muslims, so indiscriminate are their murders. In my conversations with the followers of the Qur’an, women who have sex with men outside of marriage are not looked upon very highly to say the very least, so those who reward the suicide bombers are getting a pretty crap deal. Mind you the Qur’an does have some iffy views about women – “Forbidden to you are…married women, except those you own as slaves.” (Surah 4:20-, 24-)


In today’s uber politically correct Britain we must be religiously tolerant. We’re not permitted to say that Mohammad is a git, but it’s absolutely fine for his devotees to tell the world that sticking your willy in the bottom of another man is evil and unnatural. I have to say that same sex buggery has never appealed to me, but I accept that for some it’s as compelling for them to kiss a chap as it has been for me, from the first day of puberty, to look lustfully at women’s breasts; I can’t help it – I have been genetically programmed to like women’s bodies. Some people are hard coded to want to have sex with their own gender. It’s not a lifestyle choice, they cannot help what floats their boat, but most religions, having been originally created by primitive man, deem homosexuality as evil. The desire to copulate with one’s own gender has clearly been around for a long time, for the religious bigots to include such nonsense in their holy books.


The vast majority of religions are fairly misogynistic and there have been great upheavals about women being allowed to be vicars. What I can’t get my head around is a body that has accepted that women are perhaps good enough to be vicars, but not quite good enough to be bishops. There is great disagreement amongst the Christian leaders about the place of women in the house of God. Their great leader is supposed to be all powerful, if it’s such a big deal why don’t they just ask him? And while they’re at it why don’t they ask his opinion on uphill gardening and carpet munching? I think that if he/she/it was asked the reply would be “Do whatever lights your candle, providing you don’t hurt physically or emotionally others.” I personally think that Priests that bugger choir boys should be castrated – publically! Not because they are paedos, but because they try and make their parishioners feel guilty about knocking one out whilst thinking about their mate’s wife, whilst they are happy destroying the innocence and causing catastrophic lifetime damage to the mental and emotional health of a young person.


Reading many of the ancient texts suggest that ‘owning’ slaves is an OK thing to do and even rape is OK if you’re on the right side    “Lo, a day shall come for the Lord when the spoils shall be divided in your midst.  And I will gather all the nations against Jerusalem for battle: the city shall be taken, houses plundered, women ravished; half of the city shall go into exile, but the rest of the people shall not be removed from the city”. (Zechariah 14:1-2 NAB)

All these old texts are clearly outrageous to the modern thinking person, riddled as they are with encouragement to rape the women of, and murder those who aren’t from the same God loving club as yourself. Yet the governments say we must allow religious freedom and make laws to ban ‘religious hatred’ when religious hatred is actually promoted by these books – God’s curse be upon the infidels! Evil is that for which they have bartered away their souls. To deny God’s own revelation, grudging that He should reveal His bounty to whom He chooses from among His servants! They have incurred God’s most inexorable wrath. An ignominious punishment awaits the unbelievers. Quran 2:89-2:90,

I believe that the world would be a better place with people not following any form of religion though a devote belief in Karma would be a good thing, providing one can get a clear understanding of what is Good and Bad ie being a chocolate chimney sweep is fine but shagging a dog, killing someone or stealing their phone isn’t even remotely OK.

I hate political correctness almost as much as I hate bigotry!

Do I believe in God? I’m not really sure any more, but if there is such a being, I’m 100% sure he doesn’t support any of the religions!

One Response to “Religion”

  1. Jezza says:

    Goes on a bit, dunnit, moi luvver?

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